Stupid Me, I Thought A Funeral Was Supposed To Be About The Dead Person!!

Apparently I was wrong, at least according to the Catholic Church. In Australia, the Catholic Church has set eulogy guidelines.

The Sydney archdiocese has issued a set of guidelines for eulogies; the speeches that people give at funerals in memory of the person being mourned.

There are tight constraints on duration and subject on the grounds that the subject of the funeral service is God, not man.

Really? The funeral service is about God and not man? Is "God" in the casket or urn? No!! Is "God's" family paying for the funeral service? No!! But apparently the Catholic Church thinks that they have the right to tell people what can and can't be said, done, or heard at a funeral. May I suggest this then? The Catholic Church should pay for every funeral, burial, etc. if they think that they have a right to tell families what to do.

Nowadays many families opt for pop over traditional music at the funeral service.

Warwick Hansen from the Australian Funeral Directors Association says those choices can be misplaced.

Oh heaven forbid that "I Will Remember You" or some other "pop" song is playing instead of some old bitty playing the organ with some god-forsaking garbage hymn blasting out of the pipes. One can only listen to Amazing Grace so much before they're ready to crawl inside the casket with the deceased.

We've had funerals of young people that may be playing heavy metal music, which I personally don't believe is appropriate in a church environment.

There's been even very poor language used by some of those speakers in a church environment and I don't believe that is an appropriate place for that.

Ooh, heavy metal music!! Scary!! Seriously though, please show me the funerals that have had heavy metal music playing. Not appropriate for a church environment? What exactly is appropriate? Phony "christianly" hymns? Yeah, that's really appropriate!!

God forbid that someone chooses to exercise his or her right to freedom of speech. If they decide to curse the "Lord", that's their right. If they want to say fuck all of this bullshit, it's their right.

The Sydney archdiocese guidelines suggest: that only one person speaks at the funeral mass; that they concentrate on the human qualities of the deceased; avoid stories of drinking prowess or romantic conquests; and limit their speech to no more than five minutes.

Do the people attending the funeral get to draw straws to see which person gets to speak? Seriously, only one person should speak at the funeral? Why, so the people have to be bored listening to the priest go on and on for hours instead of listening to stories about the life of the deceased? Wow, and they should only limit their speech to five minutes or less? Maybe they should just get the "Micro-Machine" man to give the eulogy. He could probably get the eulogy speech down to 30 seconds to a minute. Yeah, I vote for "Micro-Machine" man!!

My point is, the Catholic Church is so idiotic that now they're issuing guidelines on funerals. Funerals aren't about GOD. Funerals are intended to honor the life of the deceased. What the Catholic Church fails to understand is that funerals aren't about them. It's about the dead person. Perhaps they should take the cash that they're given for the use of the church/priestly services, and shut the hell up!! If people wanted their advice, they would ask for it. Since they're not, there is no need to hear it!!