I Wish I Were In Paris

From war to peace and politics to gossip, if we have an opinion on something we'll share it here.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Michael Moore's Letter To W!! Too Hilarious!!

Below is Michael Moore's letter to W. It's beyond hilarious!!

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
Dear Mr. President: Send Even MORE Troops (and you go, too!) ...from Michael Moore

Dear Mr. President,

Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to talk to us after how we behaved in November.

Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!

You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon, you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that -- just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!

Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.

Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27 million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million! Here's how it would work:

The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.

Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to Iraq? Here are some suggestions:

1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put their body where their vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them -- while they hide here in America.

2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito. I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.

3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28 million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.

Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative behind! Full speed ahead!

We promise to write. Go get 'em W!


Michael Moore

Good one Michael!! There are only a few minor things wrong with what you wrote. First, of the 62 million Americans who voted for Bush in 2004, not one of them still sitting at home would ever volunteer to put their pretty asses on the line. Instead, they would rather sit in front of their tv or computer screens and bitch about how the "liberal" whackjobs are hurting the troop morale. They would rather bitch about how the "liberal" whackjobs want to destroy America and are aiding and abetting the terrorists. They would rather bitch about how the "liberal" whackjobs want America to be attacked. These bitches would never volunteer to go fight a war that THEIR President illegally got this country involved in. They'd rather have someone else's kid or someone else to die for this asinine crock of shit war before they'd ever shed one ounce of their own blood.

Second, W would never lead the troops into battle. He couldn't be bothered to go to Vietnam. Hell, he couldn't even be bothered to show up for his pansy-assed duty that he was assigned to in the United States instead of going to war.

Finally, this isn't really about sending more troops to secure "victory" for the United States. I'm not sure what exactly the victory is that we're trying to achieve. That aside, this is about greed, power, and everything else under the sun. The pansy-assed politicians in D.C. are going to do nothing to stop this lunatic. They're going to do nothing to stop more troops from being sent to die in Iraq. And for what? FOR NOTHING!! Meanwhile, dumbass Americans are going to turn on their televisions tonight, surf the channels for something moronic to watch, and will not give a shit about what's going on in this country and around the world in their name.


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